Happy New Year, Dear Friends,
The letter of James in the New Testament provides some good advice as we begin a new year together. James writes, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). What a game-changing idea, “quick to listen, slow to speak.”
In one way, that doesn’t make sense. How do you listen quickly? How do you speed up your hearing? The reason James is using two words that really don’t go together is because he’s trying to make a very important point, which is what communicators do. Your first priority, the number one thing you can do relationally, is to be quick to listen. James is urging us, “Listen quickly. Make it first. Quickly, before you do anything else, listen.” Which is exactly what we want other people to do for us!
Here, then, is James’ other statement: “and be slow to speak.” Literally, the idea is, “be late.” When it comes to your words, wait and be late. I would add this: be curious. If you have to say something, be curious. Ask a question!
I will admit to you that some of my worst parenting moments have been when I was quick to speak and slow to listen. In marriage, we can be right all the time and “right” the person you love right out the door. You can “right” your all-star employee right out of the company! Because most people want to be understood, they don’t want to be lectured. They would be willing to be open to your ideas if they think that you’re at least willing to understand what they’re trying to communicate to you.
When you read the New Testament, you find that Jesus did not come to be right. That would have only taken him about thirty minutes. Your goal and your mission in life as a Jesus-follower isn’t to always be right, either. You are to embrace the mission of your Savior, who did not come to be right. He came to reconcile us to God and to one another. Perhaps we should quit trying to be right at each other and figure out how to get right with each other.
How do we do that, James? Be quick to listen, slow to speak. You don’t win a relational argument; you don’t win a fight in a marriage. There is no winner if things aren’t right between you. Quick to listen, slow to speak.
For thirty years, Jesus listened, and he experienced life as you experience it. And then, after thirty years, he began to speak. And people flocked to him.
Do you know why people flocked to Jesus? They felt as if he understood.
Bruce Jones, Pastor
Imagine Church
